my (messy) life

Hi guys,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written in my blog. Again. I think I said this in my last post too. I don’t write as much as I used to even though I constantly think about it and currently have 14 drafts that are over half written that I couldn’t find the time to finish. My thoughts are every where all the time, and can’t seem to find the words to type out all the thoughts are twisted and tangled up inside my head.

I’ve done a lot of trying to learn about myself and who I am as a person. A lot has happened in the last 7 months, and I’ve changed a lot. I look at pictures of myself before August of 2016 and it’s like I can’t even remember the person I was then. I can’t say life is easier now that I’m figuring out who I am. I think it was easier to do what everyone else wants you to do. It’s easier to hide away from everyone, instead of sticking out of the crowd and doing what makes you happy. Although I sometimes disappoint myself in the decisions I make, and then sometimes I’ll go and make that same exact mistake again, and I don’t why I do it. Why do we keep doing the wrong things when we are capable of realizing and understanding they are wrong? But here’s something I’ve learned….

no one is perfect.

no one.

No matter how hard you try, you will make mistakes. And you may make those same mistakes over and over again. You know what else? You are going to disappoint people that are important to you in your life. You will do it more than once most likely. And it’s going to kill you. It’s going to hurt you in ways you’ve never been hurt before. It sucks disappointing people you love. And it sucks even more when you keep doing it, and you don’t know why. Sometimes it takes one time to learn and correct yourself, and sometimes it takes 10-20 times. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERFECT.

How freaking beautiful is that? That thought is like music to my ears. “no one is perfect“. It’s so hard to understand why some people do the things they do, and I won’t understand a lot of things that go on in this world today, but what I do know is that it’s not my way of thinking and thats all that matters. I try to keep these two concepts close to heart, “stay humble” and “be kind”.

I think i’ve had more people come and go in my life in the last 7 months then my entire life. I’ve had some really crappy people come through, and some really amazing ones. I’ve had the opportunity to meet some really amazing people recently and I’ve been able to see life their perspective and it’s so great. I’ve seen the perspective of some very bitter people, and I’ve seen people go out of their way to make another person feel bad and I think it’s disgusting. But again….

no one is perfect.

It’s hard for me to understand the minds of some people and decisions they make, but I always try to remind myself who I am as a person, and what that means. I try to at least once a day find 3 positive things about myself and 3 things about myself I need to work/change. You wouldn’t believe how often those three things change.

Recently I’ve learned from someone who is close with me (I don’t think he knows that this is what I’ve learned for him lol) that you can be strong no matter what the situation is. Life will go on and tomorrow you’re going to be a better you. You have a long rode ahead of you, and you’re going to make it. And that my friends, is a very humbling feeling.

I also learned that I really really enjoy going out of my way to make someone else smile. There isn’t a greater feeling than that. Something I’ve been consistently doing is paying for the person behind me at Scooters, (I don’t know scooters specifically, just what I chose lol!) or just recently I tipped the cooks at HuHot $40. Maybe that’s a little weird, but I absolutely enjoyed watching all them behind the counters smiling, being polite, and I believe truly enjoying their jobs. Smiling is contagious. Surround yourself with people in your life that put a damn smile on your face, because thats what you deserve.

In the end, things are going to work out for you. You’re going to eventually feel silly for all the tears you shed over the person that you thought deserved you, but realize now they don’t. You are going look back and laugh at all the crazy shit you and your friends did and your going be glad you were able to make mistakes and learn.

Here are two things you should avoid: don’t regret every mistake you make. You make them for a reason, just learn from and move on. No need for dwelling. Don’t wish life away. Don’t wish the week to go by fast, take every day as it’s given to you because one day there isn’t going to be a tomorrow for you. Even Matthew 6:34 says not to worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.

my life has been pretty messy lately, and it’s taking awhile to clean up. Maybe you’re in the same position in life right now, and it’s going to get better. Believe in that, Trust in God, and keep doin you.





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